Thursday, March 24, 2011

Earlier this evening, I watched a segment on some new program, about Gabrielle Gifford.  It dealt with her abscence and the impact that it had on her office and the people who work for her.  They said that since she had been shot, that they were constantly thinking "what would Gabby" want done as they go about their business.  The people who work in her office talked about what a life changing event the murder of her collegues and her attempted murder had on everyone working in the office.  They said that their desire was that in spite of all the death and pain, that they wanted something good to come of it.  They talked about how the office had become a rallying point and a place of comfort for so many of the people affected by this tragic event.

I couldn't help but reflect on my own situation and the tragic and unexpected death of my husband.  He died on March 2nd and we would have been married 35 years on June 23rd of the same year.   When referring to grief, someone commented on how everyone always says it gets better after you lose a loved one, and the grief and pain go away.  This person commented that the grief doesn't ever go away, one just learns to integrate it into one's life.   I think that is so true! 

I don't think the grief and pain go away.  Rather I think you just integrate it into your life - it becomes part of the fabric of your being and changes you forever.   It's like a large scar.  It heals but it never really heals's still tender and you feel pain when you least expect it.

So many things have changed since I lost my husband and I can't help but reflect on all the changes in my life.  There was such an outpouring of kindness and love from people I didn't really know all that well.  It makes me forever grateful for the support and love I received, sometimes from people I barley knew.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss  him and wish he was here with me. I go to bed every night and before closing my eyes, I tell him that I love him. He will forever be a part of my life, a part of my being.
The emptiness and pain of loss doesn't ever go just learn to live with it.

Monday, March 14, 2011

We arrived home safely last night.  We flew out of Palm Springs to Edmonton and then caught a connecting flight to Abbotsford.  The stop in Edmonton was a bit of a gong show.  There was a huge lineup to go through security to connect with our flight to Abbotsford - there had to be at least 150 people lined up at one point and the line was not moving.  We couldn't figure out what the holdup was until we finally moved into the screening area.  Very inefficient and far too much nonsense with doing and re-doing things.  Colossal waste of time.

Once we cleared security we walked to the other end of the airport to our gate.  We were almost there when we learned that the gate had been changed.  You guessed it - the new gate was at the other end of the airport and we had just come from there!  So off we went, trudging back to join the rest of the masses lined up to board.

The kicker was we didn't get to bring back any duty free.  On our way down to Palm Springs we picked up our duty free in Calgary when we changed planes to catch our connecting flight.  We assumed the same would apply on the way home.  We thought we would be able to hit the duty free prior to clearing customs in Edmonton.  Not so much.  Apparently, Edmonton doesn't have a duty free for inbound international flights, or so Canada Customs told us.

What kind of  "international" airport doesn't have a duty free?    I never heard of such a thing!!

We had a fabulous vacation but it's good to be home again.


Thursday, March 10, 2011

Well, it's that time again.  We're nearing the end of our vacation here in beautiful Palm Springs.  We have 3 more days to enjoy the golf, the pool and the house and then on Sunday we leave for home.

The weather has improved and it's now quite warm - more the temperature one would expect this time of year.  Everyone we talk to tells us that it's been unseasonably cool for the last couple of weeks.  Go figure!  I can't really complain though as we've played 12 rounds of golf and the weather has been perfect for that.  I've also had a lot of pool time so I'm leaving here a happy and relaxed camper.

Well must run.  Just wanted to check and give a quick updated.  Once we get home and settled in, I'll post some of the journal pages I've done.


Wednesday, March 02, 2011

We had a lovely day today.  Since we had issues with the pool - long story - and couldn't use it, we decided to go golfing again today, instead of just sitting around.  We played the Resort course at Taquitz Creek.  It's a nice course - fairly difficult with lots of water and deep sand traps.  Trust me, I know about the sand traps because I played far too many of them!   K became frustrated because it was a little beyond her ability and got down on herself about it.  However, even though she had a few difficult holes, she still came in with a decent score for a beginner.

I don't usually golf two days in a row, and Wednesday will be our third day golfing in a row.   However, we're golfing again tomorrow at Indian Canyons.  We both love that course and it's somehow fitting that we're playing Garry's favourite course on the third anniversary of his death.  He's tickled that we're doing that and that K is playing so well.

The weather is supposed to be great for the next week or so and I'm really happy about that.  I'll be able to get some serious pool time in - finally.  Between the cooler weather and the issue with the pool, I haven't been able to enjoy the pool for almost a week.  While the cool weather has limited my pool time, it's been great weather for golf so we've enjoyed getting out and doing that so I guess there's really no need to complain!

After golf tomorrow, we're going out for dinner and then we'll hit the casino for a short visit.  I need to cash some traveller's cheques so that's the best place to do it.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Well must run as I need my beauty sleep.  Caio!